I didn’t sleep well last night. I was too restless and my mind was too lost. Lost in thoughts taking me back to my youth. Remembering things I went through during very impressionable years. I laid awake for hours tossing and turning feeling every wave of emotion that flooded over me. I had survived… but I know a lot of people who haven’t.  I’m sure you may be a bit confused not knowing why these thoughts and emotions were provoked last night, but it all happened from a Netflix series. A Netflix series that every single person no matter your age- should watch. A series that touched on SO MUCH MORE real shit that’s actually going on in the world whether we want to acknowledge it or not. “13 Reasons Why” on Netflix needs to be watched, felt, and there has GOT to be a fucking change.

I’ve witnessed bullying. I’ve stopped bullying. I’ve also been “bullied” myself. I honestly despise that word. The way it’s so carelessly thrown around these days. You hear it on so many hit reality shows by cast members bringing upon their own drama and dubbing it “bullying.” It’s not bullying. Drama is not the same as Bullying. In reality, the word needs to be thrown around- but thrown around so much that the awareness of the situation FORCES upon change. Forces change for all our youth in school now who are currently living a life where bullying is present. Whether you’ve witnessed bullying, you’ve been bullied, or you’re the bully… we ALL play a role.

Sheep herding together

Bullying usually takes place in groups. And why wouldn’t it right? Sheep flock together. Playing the lovely game of follow the leader. Bullies are undercover cowards so of course they are going to “herd” together with like minded followers. I know we all love to pretend we live in LaLa Land where unicorns fly, fart sparkles and money grows on trees but unfortunately, that just isn’t the reality. Let me assure you that there are at least a few things going on in your child’s life right now that you know nothing about and these things could potentially effect them- Forever.

Words Scar

Now, before you turn to your kids and start patronizing them into telling you what they aren’t sharing (I assure you that will help nothing.) Instead, go to them and listen. Listen without reacting in a way that will push them away. Listen to what they’re really saying and let them know you hear them. Assure them its safe to come to you if they ever have a problem or questions about anything. Stay consistent with your efforts. Some kids aren’t magically going to start opening up right away so work on building trust.

If they can’t turn to you, then there needs to be someone else they feel comfortable confiding in because they need an escape. Everyone needs an escape.  Especially when you’re young and still trying to figure out the World and more importantly- Yourself.

Shadow Self

We have all contributed to repeating the cycle of bullying either directly, or indirectly. Maybe you where the “innocent bi-standard?” You know, the one who doesn’t “do” wrong, but definitely doesn’t do anything to stop it. Maybe you where the one being bullied and you can still vividly remember the pain you endured during those trying times. Or- Where you the bully? And now you may or may not regret what you have done to others.

Stabbed in the back

I’m sure you can still remember at least one pivotal moment in your life where bullying played a part- and you have yet to forget about it. Some people- experience a lot of pivotal moments. If we don’t start facing these issues then unfortunately, the cycle is going to continue to play out like it does in “13 Reasons Why.”

Gloom

Adolescence wasn’t easy when we where in school and I assure you with social media being so present in today’s society- school is way more difficult now. We need to come up with a solution or we are failing our youth and the future generations. Every child, preteen, teenager, young adult- in any school, should have an outlet. An outlet, a resource, a program, a SAFE place where there can always turn to about issues that they face at home or at school. Our kids deserve to feel safe, and if home isn’t a safe place for them- School needs to be.

Wander

The things that go on behind closed doors, no one knows about. I look back at my own life during school when shit was not okay for me at home. You better believe that no one EVER knew anything about it. No one walks around shouting out their problems to their judgmental, insecure peers and friends at school. We fake it- and we hope to make it. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you make it out of school with a few emotional scars that you now cover up with a smile and suppressed insecurities.

Hope for no more bullying

(Read Here for Life Lessons I’ve Learned)

The bottom line.

I don’t know about you but for someone who hasn’t brought children into the world yet, I never for a moment would want them to endure what I went through. So I can only assume how those of you who already have kids may feel.

I’m assuming you would never want your kids to endure bullying the same way you were bullied. I’m assuming you would never want another kid to quietly stand by watching your child get bullied, the same way you stood by. So that leaves you, the bully… I’m assuming you would never want what you have done to others, to be done upon your own kids.

Now is the time for the bullying conversation. Let’s stop the fucking cycle.

 

More info on “13 Reasons Why.”

Songs to really “listen” to about Bullying.

 

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15 comments

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Great Advice:) Thanks for sharing!

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Thank you for your comment doll💖

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I just finished the show last night and completely agree. Bullying is a real issue and people are carelessly throwing around the term. When I was younger, I never really thought I was being “bullied” but as I look back, I realize that I was a victim of some pretty intense bullying. We all need to come together and support each other, no matter what the issue is.

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So much Yesss to all of what you said girlie!💖 I think there are a lot of people like you who I don’t think realized how much they were truly bullied back in school. So heartbreaking because life is hard enough. Thank you so much for sharing your thought girlie. Lots of positive vibes your way✨

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I watched 13 Reasons Why and it was very touching! I have a 10 year old son and even in his younger years, I stopped to listen to him and we discussed bullies and feelings. I know kids aren’t going to nice 100% of the time… but I try to paint a bigger picture to him… school isn’t forever and he has an AMAZING life ahead of him.
Great post!

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You’re such a good mom for truly listening and sharing such vital informative with him. Kids can be so shitty but it doesn’t last forever so it’s so wonderful that you talk to him about that. Sending you lots of positive vibes. Thank you for your comment doll✨

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Great post! I am still watching 13 Reasons Why and it really brings to light what even a little bit of “harmless” seeming bullying can do to someone.

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Thank you so much! I couldn’t agree more. I think that’s one of the things I loved most about the series was showing that something may seem innocent to one person can be truly hurtful to someone else. Thanks for your comment girlie! 🙂

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Really interesting post to read! Totally agree with the need for each young person to have someone they can confide in. Unfortunately when I was in high school that person was the person who let me down and hurt me the most. There was one teacher I confided in and trusted completely then after I’d tried to add her on Facebook things became awkward due to the fact something then happened between us that happened only because of my Bipolar which was undiagnosed at that point. She ended up letting me down, laughed when I got bullied and then ran the second things got though despite promising to always be there, perhaps if she’d have stuck by me I wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital because my mental health was so bad. Part of the reason I was bullied was due to social media so I agree with that. I want to ask: did you think of 13 Reasons Why as an accurate portrayal of suicide/mental health or not and why? I recently did a review on 13 Reasons Why over on my blog and upon sharing on social media, I received mixed views: those that agree with me that it is crucial to have shows like this to open people’s eyes and do something about things and those that thought it wasn’t accurate at all.

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Oh sweet girl I’m so sorry you were betrayed by someone you thought you could trust. That is awful. I can’t even imagine how difficult that must have been =\
Okay, so in regards to your question… (totally going to go read your post after this) I think it was fucking amazing they even made such a raw, real series about shit that actually happens a lot but is never really talked about. I don’t think it necessarily portrays “everyone’s” situation or “specifics” on their life because obviously everyones life’s are very different but I think it brings a huge awareness to the situation and to me, the fact it’s being talked about- is what’s important. If that makes sense? 🤔 Lol
Thank you so much for such great input girlie! Sending you tons of positive vibes💖

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I have a love/hate relationship with 13 Reasons Why. On one hand I like that it brings the topics up to the forefront so that the conversation is becoming more mainstream, but I am not sure I entirely like the way the show approached it. It does nothing to de-glamorize suicide, still making it look like some Shakespearean tragedy, and while an older audience can usually differentiate this, I feel as though for a younger, more impressionable audience this is a frightening line to be walking. I also don’t like that it paints suicide as being able to be entirely blamed on the actions of others without addressing the mental health issues that are also such a big part of this topic of conversation.
That being said I DEFINITELY agree with the idea of needing to address bullying this day and age. It is still SO prevalent, and not even just among children and teens but even moving up into adulthood! This isn’t going to change if we don’t start to address it!

Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca/

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This is an amazing post. I completely agree with you. This is what I write about in my blog. I would love for you to read my article on youth suicide. I’m actually gathering data now, to go pitch to the Board of Education in town to start a suicide prevention program. Really great, well thought out piece… thank you

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I’ve actually never seen 13 reasons why, but I’ve heard so much about it. Bullying is such a big and serious problem, it has to be stopped.

Hugs Bella, http://nouw.com/bellss // Instagram: bellaskoog

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I watched this series too and was incredibly moved by it. I think they did a great job showing how the little things that seemed so unimportant to others just spiralled.

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Omg, so much Yesss, Nadine. That’s exactly what I picked up from the series too. Thank you so much for your comment. Tons of positive vibes your way 🙂

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